Highlander wedding? Yep, I've been there.

So.  Ummmm…That?  Was the worst Summer of my life.   Moving on.

Jeff and I went to the most awesome wedding ever last month.  Ever, ever.   Like, Evah. 

First of all, the date of wedding was 09-10-11, which makes my paltry 04-21-01 look pitiful by comparison.  9.10.11, people.  How could it not kick ass?

I should mention that it was a Jewish wedding, which is pretty much everything a wedding should be.  The prayers are better than other weddings, the vows are better than other weddings and the traditions pretty much smack down all other weddings and make them their bitch.  And I’m not just saying that because Christianity & I had a knock-down, drag-out battle that I’m pretty sure isn’t over.  By a long shot. 

Note to self: inquire as to whether or not Judaism is accepting applications.

But here’s what made the wedding awesome:   All of the music in the ceremony and at the reception was taken from the score of the film Highlander.  The original Highlander.  Circa 1986. Sean Connery.  Christopher Lambert.  Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.  There can be only one.  It was a traditional Jewish ceremony...featuring the Highlander soundtrack.

We’re talking Queen here, people.   Freddy Frigging Mercury.  At a wedding.  In the ceremony. It was so awesome that I don’t think the word awesome sufficiently describes it.  Dare I say it was the awesome-est?

There were Brian May-style electric guitar solos during the ceremony.  Remember 80’s era Brian May solos?  They sounded like lasers.  Laser guitars, people.  My friend had laser guitars in her wedding ceremony.  I somehow feel less married by this fact.  How can I be married if I didn’t have laser guitars to seal the deal?  I think it’s possible that the geriatric pianist pounding out show tunes on a Yamaha upright at my wedding reception may have invalidated the whole damn thing.

Second Note to self:  Don’t let Jeff know that we may not actually be married.  He’ll trade me in like an ’82 Peugeot for sure.

So we get to the reception, and the bride and groom have their first dance to a 10-minute electric guitar solo version of “Who Wants to Live Forever”.  A laser guitar first dance.  An impromptu *singalong* laser guitar first dance.  Holy, holy shit people.  How could I not have thought of this for my wedding?   I wish I could accurately describe the look on Jeff’s face during the dance.  It was surprise mixed with disbelief mixed with something akin to horror.  Clearly he wasn’t feeling the awesomeness. Or maybe he thought it was so awesome that he was struggling to hold back the tears.  I’ll ask him for clarification.

We spent three glorious hours laughing and reveling in laser guitar, open bar, party like a rock star nirvana.  Mostly laughing.  That, my friends, was a wedding.

There can be only one, indeed.