Last weekend Jeff was in the garage finally digging through some of the items he brought home from my Dad’s basement, and he came into the house carrying a small plastic dish containing a couple of metal items covered in yellow liquid.
Jeff: Holding up the dish. Check it out! I read online that if you spit twice into a dish and then pee on it, it takes the rust off metal. I put the old bottle openers from your Dad’s house in it to see if it works.
LAB: That’s gross, but whatever.
Jeff: What do you mean whatever? It’s a new cleaner I bought at Home Depot. It looks like pee. I was joking. Do you seriously think I would spit into a dish and then pee on it?
LAB: Blink. Blink.
LAB: Blink. Blink.
Jeff: Seriously?
LAB: Stares at floor.
Jeff: Does that even sound like something I would do?
LAB: Oh, Jesus. There’s really no right answer to that question. I don’t know what the hell you do out there. As far as I’m concerned, peeing in a dish is best case scenario.
Jeff: Reaching into the liquid. Hey, this one says “Schlitz Malt Liquor” on it! Cool!!!
LAB: Can you do that outside? I’m still seeing pee.
