Monday, August 8, 2016

What's 30 Years Among Friends?

Howdy Peeps! I've missed you!  After an almost two year hiatus, I have plenty of new material, so here we go...

First up: My 30th High School Reunion

Our 30th reunion was an informal affair at a bar, with an open invite for any other classes who'd like to attend to join.  Which means I was able to convince my best girlfriend / younger brother, Scott, to come along. You can probably guess how the rest of the story goes.

Our party foursome included me, Jeff (my ridiculously tolerant, long-suffering husband), Scott, and Scott's delightful girlfriend (whom he better make my sister soon if he knows what's good for him because I'm totally keeping her).
Pre-Reunion, I had the following conversation with my stepson (name withheld to protect the innocent):
Stepson: What were you like in high school?
LAB: A little bit bookish.  Crazy about dogs.  Hated rules.  Liked to do my own thing.
SS: So basically exactly like you are now.
LAB:  Exactly.

In the car upon arrival:
LAB: I’m only taking my phone, my ID and my lipstick inside.
Jeff:  You’re bringing your ID?  Do you think they’re expecting underage kids to crash your 30th high school reunion?
LAB:  I may need it.  Better safe than sober.

At the Reunion:
LAB: I don’t remember everyone being so tall!
Jeff: That’s because you’re wearing flat shoes.  And why do your shoes look like they have sea urchins on them?
LAB: It’s called fashion.
Jeff:  Sea urchins are in style now?

With my high school girlfriends:
LAB: Is it just me, or do you recognize all of the women here and none of the men?
All the ladies:  It's not just you.  Who are these guys?

After a few drinks:
I’m not sure who orchestrated “Operation Get LAB Sh*thoused” at the party, but it was an unparalleled success.  There were times when I had more drinks than I could carry.  And I can easily carry 4.  I know drinks with 2 limes came from Jeff.  Drinks with 1 lime came from Scott.  Drinks with no limes?  I have no idea.  But I really wanted limes, so I kept asking Scott to take limes from my old drinks and put them in my new drinks, which he did.  Now you know why he's my best girlfriend. 

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure all of the drinks he took limes from were mine.  Or empty.  Do I owe anyone an apology? Or a bag of limes? 

More drinks later:
For some reason, the name of our high school was misspelled on the cake at the event.  I don't have the words for how spectacular I thought this was.  With encouragement from my enabler, Scott, I decided to fix it with a sharpie, but the marker kept sinking into the frosting.  Apologies to any of my classmates who may have eaten a fair amount of permanent marker.  It's probably not toxic. 

Even more drinks later:
Scott:  Do you know you’re sitting with half of your ass on the ottoman and the other half on a serving tray? Your butt has the tray tilted up at an angle.  I keep waiting for you to notice, but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to.
LAB:  Oh.  I thought I was on a sofa and that was the arm.
Scott:  *blink* *blink*  Just give it to me.

After all the drinks:
LAB: I can’t say words.
Scott, Jeff, et al:  That’s a wrap.  Get in the car.

Sunday Morning:
Jeff: How do you feel?
LAB: I tell you after you get me some KFC.
Jeff: Be right back.

It was awesome catching up with everyone! OK, may be not *everyone*, but most of you.  Thanks to the party planners - I had a blast! From what I can remember.