Friday, June 14, 2013

On the Pontoon...

Remember when I posted that I was feeling too domesticated lately?  Well, problem solved.

I've started this post about 100 times, but I haven't been able to adequately describe my recent girl's weekend on Lake Lanier without incriminating anyone.  Or multiple anyonesEspecially me.

I can say, however, that when I woke up on Sunday morning my phone contained new contacts including: "Rod, Lord of the Dance", "Tommy Limo" and "Tim McGraw".  Apparently I made new friends.  So there's that.

When you take 5 women in their 40's and combine them with multiple bottles of champagne before 8 a.m., a house boat, a hot tub, The Fly Betty Band, swimsuits, open bar, sundresses, a purse full of stolen dog biscuits, twerking, a smoking hot handy man, Bond No. 9 perfume, a chauffeur, country music, 2 marinas, crashing a random party, and a French kissing Cockatoo (which, by the way, is not the same as a Cockatiel - see, I even learned something!), you have the perfect storm for stories you can never repeat.  And that's just what I can recall.  I'm pretty sure I spent part of Saturday night in an alcohol-induced coma.

Yes, I have pictures.  That I don't remember taking.  No, I won't share them.  Unless you were there, because those pics are seriously hilarious - OMG that bird!

We never really mastered the whole "beer before liquor, never sicker", "stick with wine and you'll be fine", "liquor before beer, you're in the clear" rules so we just drank it all.  Sometimes mixed together.  I stand by my belief that women with children can party harder than Axl Rose.  But not John Daly - that guy's a beast!  Those mothers make me look like an amateur.  And my analogies make me feel old. 

I especially liked how I woke up on Sunday morning with 9 full bottles of water on the nightstand next to me.  Guess I thought I'd be thirsty.

I'm not sure how, but with a little help from Diet Coke, bacon, yoga pants and Zofran, we all lived to tell the tale.  Or at least what we remember of it.

I love this Summer already, and it's only June!!!