Tuesday, February 14, 2012

V.D. for all!!!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  We don't normally do much for V.D. at our house, but I did send Jeff a special Valentine's-themed lunch art:

I didn't think I'd be able to top the sympathy card I sent him last Valentine's Day, but I found the most God-awful giant, sparkly card with some kind of ridiculous sentiment written on it in Spanish that plays an extremely (screeching) loud sappy Latin love song.  That should go over well with the guys at his office when he opens it.  It's so loud that the dogs came running into the room when I was signing it.  Perfect!

In other V.D. related news (not the Valentine's Day kind of V.D.), did I tell you guys that when I was at the emergency room getting my finger stitched up last month there was a girl there who "thought she had caught something"?  And by "something",  I mean down in her Business District.  Her Chamber of Commerce, if you will.  Something was definitely rotten in the state of Denmark.  Gross!  But it certainly begged a question:  Just what kind of rotten crotch symptoms was she experiencing to make her run to the emergency room at 9:00 on a Thursday night for treatment?  Blech!!  As an aside, they should really make those emergency room divider curtains thicker.  I was worried about her squirrel stank getting through!

Anyway, enjoy Valentine's Day.  And if you don't have someone to love...you can always love yourself.  They make toys for that.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Teenagers: Not as Dumb as You Think They Are

One of the benefits of being married to a "car guy" is that our cars last us forever.  Thanks to Jeff, I drove a 1990 Nissan Stanza until it had 300,000 miles on it and the insurance company told us they'd no longer cover it after a very minor fender-bender.  Awesome car, by the way.

My current ride is a 2000 Toyota convertible which Jeff refers to as my "car for life" (he's not joking).  Jeff keeps it in pristine condition.  It looks & drives like it just came off the showroom floor and the mileages is still relatively low, so it'll be my ride for many years to come. It's in such good shape that the Toyota dealer tries to buy it from us every time we take it in for service.  And while I love my car, sometimes I have visions of something a little...newer.  Sadly, we replace cars on a need-basis only in our family, and my "need" is way off over the horizon.

I had a glimmer of hope when my 15-year-old stepson, Aaron, approached me about the possibility of "inheriting" my car when he turns 16.  Visions of hard-top convertibles danced in my head!  All we had to do was convince Jeff that it was a good idea.

I approached Jeff with the topic, and Jeff replied that we should offer Aaron our spare car (a 1997 Nissan Pathfinder with 250,000 miles on it that we refer to as "Boomer's Car" because it's the only car our Great Dane fits in).  I countered that Aaron needed something more reliable and we'd never be able to get Boomer to the vet without the Pathfinder.  It was a convincing argument, but Jeff said that he thought Aaron would prefer the SUV (which I knew wasn't true) so we should give him a choice.

Woo Frigging Hoo, people!  I was about to hand off my 12-year-old ride for a better, faster, stronger "car for life"!  I started browsing websites for my new (used) car.

The next time Jeff visited Aaron in North Carolina, he made the offer that Aaron could choose from our cars.

Aaron's response?  "Thanks, Dad!  I'll take your Maxima."

DAMMIT.  Car for life, indeed.