Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It seemed perfectly plausible to me...

Last weekend Jeff was in the garage finally digging through some of the items he brought home from my Dad’s basement, and he came into the house carrying a small plastic dish containing a couple of metal items covered in yellow liquid.

Jeff:  Holding up the dish. Check it out! I read online that if you spit twice into a dish and then pee on it, it takes the rust off metal.  I put the old bottle openers from your Dad’s house in it to see if it works.
LAB: That’s gross, but whatever.
Jeff: What do you mean whatever?  It’s a new cleaner I bought at Home Depot.  It looks like pee.  I was joking.  Do you seriously think I would spit into a dish and then pee on it?
LAB: Blink. Blink.
Jeff: Seriously?
LAB: Stares at floor.
Jeff: Does that even sound like something I would do?
LAB: Oh, Jesus.  There’s really no right answer to that question.  I don’t know what the hell you do out there.  As far as I’m concerned, peeing in a dish is best case scenario.
Jeff: Reaching into the liquid.  Hey, this one says “Schlitz Malt Liquor” on it! Cool!!!
LAB:  Can you do that outside?  I’m still seeing pee.