Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mane Manners

I don't normally do this, but I'm about to get a little political.  Don't get me wrong:  I vote (early & often!) and I have a pretty strong opinion about all things politic, I just don't usually get into it here.

That being said...here we go.  WTF is up with Callista Gingrich's hair?

I'm a proud Southern Girl.  Granted, I'm the kind of Southern Girl who thinks that the problem with Atlanta is that it's surrounded by Georgia, but I did spend 4 years in Auburn, Alabama in college (in the 80's, no less) which gives me a bit of Strand Street Cred. Coiffure Currency, if you will.

Those of you who haven't had much interaction with gently-bred Southern Gals probably don't know this, but there are Tendril Tenets that we learn from a very young age.

The basis of these Ringlet Rules is the law of 2 of 3 (i.e. your hair can feature 2 of the 3 following characteristics, but no more):
  • Helmet Head
  • Color Not Occurring in Nature
  • "The Swoop" (not to be confused with "The Pouf" sported by our sisters up North)

Enter our girl Callista:

photo credit: www.ibtimes.com

I've got to be honest people:  I see a 3 of 3 violation here.  And not in a good way.  Dare I say a Hat Trick? (more like Impervious Platinum Helmet).  We have helmet.  We have unnatural color .  And we have swoopage.

I don't get the "how". And I don't get the "why".  I kind of don't even get the "what".  And in a time when so many people turn to political spouses to soften a candidate's image...I just don't get her at all.  When people are lining up to ask you how you get your hair to "do that", it might be time to reconsider your look.  There are rules for a reason, sister.  It's for all of us!


  1. What kind of medication must she be on to be so unaware on sooooo many levels?

  2. She's boning Newt, even after knowing he cheated on both his previous wives. What sort of good hair judgment were you expecting?