Today's the day that I officially admit that I've lost the "upper hand" in my marriage. Don't get me wrong: for a few early years Jeff was basically my bitch. It was glorious! But no more. Lately he's been out-God-damn-flanking me at every turn. He's been playing me like a country fiddle at a backyard hoedown (and it's exactly as bad as it sounds).
Want an example (and I'm ashamed to admit that I walked right into this one)? Jeff took me out to lunch last Saturday, which isn't too unusual, and we had the following exchange.
Jeff: How's your sandwich?
Jeff: So, I, ummmmmm, bought an engine hoist.
LAB: Excuse me?
Jeff: You know, an engine hoist. To pull engines out of cars.
Jeff: It only cost XXX hundred dollars. (amount redacted to hide our spendy ways)
LAB: XXX hundred dollars? What a coincidence. You spent the exact same amount on a necklace that you "spontaneously" bought me last week on vacation.
Jeff: Huh. I didn't think of that.
LAB: You unexpectedly spent XXX hundred dollars on a gift for me, and then you spent XXX hundred dollars on something you have wanted for years but couldn't justify buying.
Jeff: Huh. How about that.
LAB: Yep. How about that. So now you figure that I've got nowhere to go with this, don't you?
Jeff: If you say so.
LAB: You win this one. But don't get cocky.
Remember my last post, in which I gloated about how I "tricked" Jeff into buying me a nice necklace while we were on vacation? Yeah. Not so much. I think I may have grossly underestimated him.