Jeff was home this morning while I was getting ready for work, which almost never happens. After watching me overflow the glass while pouring a Diet Coke, then roll around on the floor playing with the dogs, then trip and walk into the door frame, he said the following:
Jeff: You're more of a disaster than usual in the morning. It's like watching a bunch of monkeys trying to hump a door knob.
LAB: Two things. First of all, that's a quote blatantly stolen from the movie Dodgeball. Second, thank you for providing me with my new personal motto. "LAB: Better than a bunch of monkeys trying to hump a doorknob".
Jeff: You're welcome. I think.
In other news, I found my first gray (American spelling, thank you very much) eyebrow last Saturday. What. The. Hell. I was surprised, since I have very few gray hairs at all. At 44 years old, I still have "virgin" hair. No chemicals, no color. I won the genetic lottery when I was born and I've been abusing it in every possible way ever since. You have to really be looking for the grays to even see them. So I was somewhat shocked to have one in my eyebrows. I plucked it and figured that would be the end of it. Until this morning. I found three, count 'em...three! more gray eyebrows. Two on the right side, one on the left. For some reason, I find them much more offensive than the ones in my hair. If I keep plucking them, eventually I'll have bald patches in my eyebrows. But if I pencil over them, I'm afraid I'll look like Cruella de Vil. What's a not so gently aging girl to do?
I'm trying to age gracefully. I tried Botox last year. Once. Didn't like it. And Jeff, who I didn't tell I was going to try it, kept saying "Why do you always look surprised?" until it wore off. I think it worked a little too well on me. It froze my forehead which was not a problem area for me quite efficiently, but the two tiny vertical lines between my eyebrows that I wanted to get rid of didn't disappear, they just got further apart. Guess I'm destined to always be #11. Or Roman Numeral II. Screw it! May be the gray eyebrows will distract attention from the vertical lines. I'm putting this in the win column.