Monday, September 10, 2012

"War Eagle" might be an overstatement at this point

Spent an awesome Saturday afternoon watching the tragic Auburn game at a local watering hole with my two favorite partners in crime: my brother Scott and our drinking companion Molly.  The tailgate trifecta!

About an hour into the game, I looked into the beer cooler and told the bartender that he needed to restock the Smirnoff Ice.  I'm nothing if not helpful.  He checked the back of the bar, and then told me that there wasn't any more. Cue violins for this tragic turn of events.   And then he said he'd be right back, and he ran across the street to the store and bought more for meI freaking love this guy!

I drank from noon until 3:30 p.m., and ate lunch, and when I was presented my bar tab it totaled $19.88.  That's right - less than $20!  Either the cash register was broken, or I got the drinking bargain of the century.  Or both. Guess who still gets free drinks from hot bartenders? *This* girl!

What bartender in his right mind wouldn't want to provide complimentary beverages to this crew?

 I blanked out our last names on the name tags so some 
of you assholes can't track us down & stalk us.
You know who you are.

Losing with grace, people.  The Auburn way.

Molly and I decided after the game that we all needed to go to the liquor store.  It was the obvious choice.  Scott was driving, but it wasn't too hard to convince him. What could be more charming & delightful than two drunk women in their 40's stumbling through the liquor store? Not a damn thing.

As we left the bar, three different bartenders thanked us for the "entertainment".  Ummm.  You're welcome.

We headed to the liquor store and when we got there I walked in and grabbed a cart, at which point Scott jumped in front of me and said:

Scott: Whoa, whoa, whoa.  What are you doing?
LAB:  Getting a case of wine.
Scott: While Jeff is out of town? I'm not sure I want to be a party to this.
LAB: He gave me money to buy a case of wine.
Scott:  Uh huh.
LAB:  I swear!
Scott:  Oh, hell.  Whatever.
LAB:  *Thinking: Jesus, it's not like I'm loading up on flavored vodka again.  I already learned that lesson.*

I bought my case of wine.  And some Smirnoff Ice.  And Scott helped me unload it at home, which was my goal in the first place.  #winning

The 2012 football season is shaping up to be ugly for Auburn.  And possibly uglier for me.  I may be watching the SEC Championship game from Passages. I hear Malibu is lovely in the fall. So there's that.

1 comment:

  1. I've been more than a little concerned for the livers of my (a little laughingly here) tragic Auburn fans.
    Bless your hearts, your time will Roll around.