Monday, January 21, 2013

A dip in the dating pool

It's been a long time since I dated.  Really long.  Like 16 years.  So when my brother re-entered the dating pool recently, I learned the most amazing things.  Here's a sample:

If a girl tells you she "used to be a stripper", it means she was stripping last night.  And possibly this morning.

Based on an informal survey of my brothers' (male) friends, the appropriate age for a man's second wife is half his age, plus 7 years (e.g. a 40 year old man's 2nd wife should be 27).  Although I question the methodology used to come up with this equation.  And the intent.
No matter how many times you demand that your brother turn gay because you've always wanted a gay brother, he won't do it.  Even though our mother always said "If you don't try something new, how do you know you won't like it?".

When meeting your brother's date for the first time, if she says "My ex's sister was the biggest psycho I've ever met", the appropriate response is not "Challenge accepted."

If you try to pimp out your brother to all the hot chicks in a bar, he'll start introducing you to people as his "agent".

Bonus dating advice:  Here's a little nugget that our sister shared with her college-aged son: "Always go for the girl in the white shorts". You know why.

You're welcome, people.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled Monday activities.


  1. Yes, dating in our forties is not as fun as dating in our 20's. Sort of a different fun with obstacles and challenges. However, I do have some interesting stories from both ages. Emily

  2. LAB, Wing Woman Extraordinaire!

  3. LAB good to see some new material. I am back to work so I can now fuck my days off doing shit like this instead of playing golf, going to Florida, sleeping until 10 which I really didn't enjoy!!!!!! Wrecker

    1. I know! Isn't it great to get back to the office so you can finally get some rest?

  4. Some days I think it's a good thing we live far apart! I have memories of you making every bartender in Atlanta card me when we went out for my 21st birthday. I can only imagine what you'd pull now if you decided I needed to start dating again!