Dumbest. Holiday. Ever.

Jeff and I don't do Valentine's Day because, frankly, it's stupid.  If you need Hallmark and Teleflora to remind your husband to tell you he loves you, then you have problems that a card and a dozen roses probably aren't going to solve.

That being said, I still drew a Valentine's version of Lunch Art on Jeff's lunch featuring Boomer biting Cupid on the ass (and saying that it "tastes like chicken").

I also hid a card in his briefcase.  I refuse to spend money on an actual Valentine for the above-stated reason, but I still wanted to do a little something.  Last year I gave him a Halloween card for Valentine's Day - I'm a sucker for a "Holy Sheet!" joke.

This year I bought several greeting card options, including a Bat Mitzvah card (welcome to womanhood!) and a new baby girl card (because we don't have kids, so I'm the only baby girl he's getting) but neither one of spoke to me when I was considering my options last night.  I really wanted to give him a Quinceañera card and I came up with some hilarious commentary to write on it, but I couldn't find one.

Here's what I finally decided on:

It's hard to read my girly handwriting, but the note says "So sorry that you're stuck married to me.  SUCKER!".  I also added this note on the back:  "As agreed, if Gabrielle Reece ever becomes available, you're released (but only if)".