Jeff started Shamu-ing me this weekend.
If you're not familiar with the concept of Shamu-ing, I read about it around 2008 when I came across a book by Amy Sutherland called "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love & Marriage: Lessons from Animals and Their Trainers" (hilarious book, by the way).
The book claims that humans can be trained using the same techniques used at SeaWorld to train dolphins and killer whales. Specifically, trainers reward the behaviors they want and completely ignore undesired behaviors.
I know this method. I use this method on Jeff all the time. And he finally realized what I've been doing and is giving it right back to me. He's not even trying to hide it! The worst part (or best part according to Jeff) is that my Dad was at our house on Sunday and there was a serious Shamu-conspiracy going on. No wait, the worst part is that Jeff admitted he was doing it. He finds it hilarious, especially because I get so annoyed when he does it.
Here's a little example: I cooked dinner on Saturday night and he heaped praise on me like I had just served The Last Supper on a Silver Platter. Way over the top gratitude. Then on Sunday, I accidentally set fire to the toaster oven (again) and he completely ignored me. I repeatedly yelled for him to come help me but he kept ignoring me until I took care of it myself.
This? Will not stand.
Jeff's Shamu-Kung-Fu is not strong. This killer whale is about to beach his ass.
Endnote: If you Google "Shamuing", you'll also find this awesome (and completely unrelated) definition in the Urban Dictionary: "Someone who tells obvious lies about everyday life and lies about anything and everything just to make themselves look good thus looking stupid and pathetic purely because they think everyone actually believes them". Thankfully, this type of Shamu-ing is *not* going on in my marriage. As far as I know.